snakes and doves

Through the Looking Glass

2011-02-21T23:21:00.000-05:00

This has been one of the most surreal weeks of my life. For those unaware, Tanya was admitted into Piedmont Hospital one week ago after her blood pressure was elevated at her doctor's appointment. The perinatologist (it's a baby doctor while your babies are in the womb) felt that Tanya needed to be put on bedrest for at least one week to try and keep the babies in for as long as possible, so for the last week Tanya has lived in Room 290.

She's pretty sure that the outside world still exists, thanks to some visits from friends and the television. There's a window in the room with a great view of a large HVAC evaporator. Tanya can get up whenever she wants to as long as whenever she wants to means when she has to use the bathroom. She has kept her spirits up much better than I have, even though I can leave (and have left for a time) every day. I am going nuts.

We have developed a mindset that something is going to happen tomorrow when Tanya visits her doctor, but we could just be told that we get to wait another week. Tanya's blood pressure and blood sugar and vitals have looked just fine ever since she's been admitted. We really have no idea what is going on right now. We sit here and we sleep here and Tanya eats cafeteria food while I eat out of my lap out of paper wrappers and we feel like we may never leave here. We know that each day that the babies stay in is better for them, but some of the mystery of what is about to happen has been dulled by Tanya's incarceration in the Antepartum Unit.

I know that this may sound like we're impatient but that's because at this point we're impatient. If we were sitting at home and able to do what we normally do and I was sleeping in a bed rather than a vinyl chair that's 8 inches too short for me then we would be quite alright with waiting, but the thought of another week at the hospital is enough to make us both a little crazy.

On the other hand, I've encountered many people here at the hospital that are having it far worse than us. I talked to women who have spent 10 weeks on this floor. I met a man who came in with foot pain only to find out that he has a cancerous tumor in his sinus cavity. Talking to these people makes me feel ashamed at my frustration in our predicament, but at the same time we can't help but be frustrated. When Tanya had her surgery 2 years ago there was a definitive time when the surgery was going to happen, and after it was over we knew that Tanya was recovering and then we would be going home. In this instance we know nothing; maybe Tanya will have the babies tomorrow or maybe she'll have the babies 3 weeks from now, maybe the babies will be ready to go straight home or have to go to the NICU for a week or a month. The uncertainty is overwhelming at this point.

So here we sit. Tanya's in the bed sweating and I'm in the chair freezing. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up and go to school and Tanya will still be in the bed and then she'll go to the doctor and maybe then we'll know something for sure. As for now, just a whole lot of nothing.

Memorial Day

2009-05-26T11:41:00.000-04:00

Memorial Day, originally Decoration Day, was first celebrated in 1868 to honor fallen Union soldiers in the Civil War. The date was picked to fall near the date of reunification of our country. After World War I the holiday was expanded to include all fallen soldiers who lost their lives in service to our country. Almost 1.5 million American soldiers have died during wars our country has participated in, dating back to the Revolutionary War. There are so many more soldiers not in that number that have lost their lives without dying as a result of these wars. Wilbur is one of them.

From his own account, Wilbur is 75 years old. Or 66. Or 59. Or 22. He was born in Alabama, about 50 miles south of Birmingham and grew up picking cotton and strawberries. He volunteered for the Vietnam War, “because they would have drafted a black man anyway”. When he returned from the war he moved to Hackensack, New Jersey. He started a band, Wilbur and the Invaders, who got the chance to open for Patti LaBelle once on Seventh Avenue in New York.

Wilbur has lived on Forrest Avenue for more than 10 years now. He sits on his porch four or five days a week singing along with his radio, his “box”. The neighborhood is serenaded with Sam Cooke, The Drifters, James Brown, Fats Domino. Wilbur sings and drinks, and drinks and sings, until he passes out on the porch. He suffers from dementia, arthritis, alcoholism. His (second, or maybe fourth) wife Elizabeth hides in the house, ashamed of her husband.

Yesterday Wilbur’s box was broken. I went to his porch to fix it, but it was finished, just like the other 3 boxes on the porch. I let him borrow our box until he could get a new one. I could hear Wilbur singing as we ate and drank and enjoyed ourselves yesterday. He seemed to be enjoying himself as well. Only a handful of people were left at our party last night when the improbable happened.

I’ve lived in this neighborhood since January, 2 doors down from Wilbur, and I’ve never seen him outside his yard. The gate is padlocked shut, and he roams the yard like an old, toothless lion in a cage at the circus, on display for the thirtysomethings pushing strollers and walking their dogs down our street. But here he was, standing on our porch, box in hand. He had decided he should bring our radio back before he broke it like he had his own. We invited him in and hit play on our Motown playlist. Wilbur sang along. He danced in our dining room. We sat on the front porch and he dispensed wisdom that only his life would allow.

“You was born a man, you gone die a man. Live like a man.”

“There is no next war. Don’t run off on this one.”

“Never say bye. You say bye in Vietnam, you don’t come back.”

About eleven we had to send everyone home. Tanya had to be up early for work, so we needed to cut the party off. Wilbur hugged everyone left on the porch and we walked to the end of the driveway together.

“You know, I thought I pissed you off, now I think you might like me.”

“I don’t just like you Wilbur, I respect you. You deserve respect.”

“I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I love you, but not like a faggot.”

We hugged, and he walked home. I hope Wilbur can come to our Memorial Day party next year. He’s a man who deserves to be honored for his service to our country. If he’s not with us next year or is too frail to come over, I know he’ll be in my mind every Memorial Day for the rest of my life.

negative=positive

2008-08-21T08:39:00.002-04:00

2 weeks ago a guy named Jason approached me at church. He recognized me from a church that we went to together around 10 years ago. I asked how he ended up at trinity, we talked about how I ended up at trinity, then I asked him what he thought of the place. He told me that he's trying to hand off his responsibilities at another church to start attending trinity regularly. Jason said that what he liked about trinity was that our services were so "simple" and "bare bones".

Last weekend some of us were hanging out at Octane (surprise) and Shaunna was talking about a church that she and Chris had attended with a friend of hers. She said that it felt like a rock concert, with fog machines and laser shows and songs that you couldn't sing along with. Someone said that they liked the fact that trinity sang songs that were "familiar".

Simple, bare bones, familiar. These words would give most pastors night terrors because popular wisdom says that your service has to be a big, unpredictable production to get people my age to come to church. But it seems that this wisdom of how to get 20-30 year olds to get involved is based on what 40-50 year olds think 20-30 year olds want. Given the fact that we are doing well in what is typically the most unchurched demographic, it seems that maybe simple, bare bones, and familiar might be the way to go if you want people like me to come to your church.

i'm proud of trinity.

Addiction pays off

2008-08-20T20:48:00.001-04:00

While looking over my church's website bulletin board a couple of months ago I noticed a post about shoes. Our church sponsors a village in Kenya called Joska and in the village there's an orphanage for boys. We send a group over twice a year to help with things like digging wells and building walls and the group brings things like school supplies. The guy who runs the orphanage emailed the church 3 days before our group was leaving with a request for shoes. Finally my addiction would be put to good use!

Jonathan Stancel and I were able to cover the largest sizes from our personal collections and Linda, Lauren and Pam from Wish donated the rest. In all we sent 40 pair of new or barely worn shoes to Kenya. Not just walmart specials, either. These were all exclusive, limited edition Nikes, Reeboks, adidas, you name it.

So out of all my shoes, I'm proudest of these:

My dog is real cute.

2008-08-20T17:25:00.000-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Where do we go? Where do we go now, sweet child?

2007-11-07T16:08:00.003-05:00

As I was driving home from work yesterday, I heard the news of Sen. Charles Grassley's investigation of 6 major "prosperity gospel" pastors' financial records, including two pastors from the Atlanta area. I couldn't help but smile, because I believe that teaching people that faith in Christ leads to owning a mansion seems pretty strange, considering that Jesus himself said that he didn't have anywhere to lay his head. Currently the best selling book in the country is Become a Better You: 7 Keys To Improving Your Life Every Day by Joel Osteen, a pastor from Houston of a 47,000 member church who, every time I've heard him speak, references his million dollar home, beautiful wife, and how problem-free his life is.

It seems to me that popular Christian culture has adopted the idea of selling people what they think they want rather than inviting people to give up their lives in an effort to become what we were created to be. In John's gospel you can read the story of Jesus feeding at least 5,000 people through a miracle that multiplied a bit of food into a feast. That night the disciples got into a boat and headed across the lake to a different city, and Jesus joined them during the night by walking on the water out to the boat. The next morning when people realized that Jesus wasn't there anymore, they got in some boats and followed him across the lake. When they arrived, Jesus told them that they didn't follow him because he could offer them a different life but because he gave them fish sandwiches. He then told them that to really follow him that they had to eat his flesh and drink his blood, a metaphor for acceptance of the sacrifice of his life that he would shortly be offering.

The crowds followed Jesus because he had met their "felt needs" - things that they knew they were lacking, mainly because of their growling stomachs - but when he offered them eternal life, a restored relationship with God, and redemption, the response was "this is a hard teaching, who can accept it?"

Jesus gave further explanation to his mandate, explaining that he was speaking of spiritual things and not physical things but many people, upon hearing that there wasn't going to be any more free food, left and decided not to follow Jesus any further.

It seems to me that much of the "prosperity gospel" feeds on peoples felt needs (and even felt wants) by offering bigger houses, nicer cars and fatter wallets in exchange for faith in Jesus. That sounds pretty easy to me, but Christ taught that although his teaching wasn't difficult to understand, it was difficult to accept. Jesus said that the people who followed him would be few, but that doesn't make sense with the message of prosperity. If following Christ meant that you got a new car, who wouldn't take that offer?

G.K. Chesterton said that "the Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, but has been found difficult and left untried." In Jesus' orders to his disciples on sending them out, he warned that the job would be thankless, sleepless and dangerous, but the disciples decided that the reward - fulfillment, purpose, a personal relationship with God - was worth the risk.
When the majority of the crowd left with empty stomachs and Jesus was left with his closest friends he asked them, "Do you want to leave to?"

Peter's response to the question shows the resolve of the disciples and the true crux of the Christian faith: "Where else would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

the fight for no rights

2007-09-27T12:56:00.000-04:00

In Jesus' time, his people were under oppression by the Roman government. The Israelites were expectant of a prophesied coming Messiah that would overthrow the Roman government with violence and restore the sovereignty of Israel. Apparently, God didn't believe that using political or military power was the right way of doing things. For some reason, Christian leaders now believe that they might know better.

The current bombardment of media by our next presidential candidates has gotten me thinking lately about what Jesus' political stance was. According to the late Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority in the 80's and Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition in the 90's it is the duty of the American believer to use the church's influence to push political parties into power that agree with general moral principles and to create laws that favor the rights of Christians. Christian rights have been a pretty big issue in past elections and entire organizations have been created to effort the enforcement of them. These rights are only those applicable to Evangelicals (like prayer in school), however, and don't include things such as Mormons' right to polygamy.

As far as I'm concerned, "Christian Rights" are actually a semantic term for "Christian Political Power". I don't think that anyone can argue that those in power at the Christian Coalition seek political power, especially since the founder of the organization ran for president and their national director (Ralph Reed) ran for Lieutenant Governor of Georgia. These people are politicians who are using their connection with a set of people that believe the same way to achieve their own political goals.

Within the Roman Empire, a law was created that if a Roman soldier approached you and ordered you to assist him, you were obligated to carry his equipment for one mile. In Jesus' most famous sermon he said, according to Matthew, that when asked you should not only assist the soldier for one mile, but to carry it for two miles instead. If someone was to slap you, turn the other cheek. If someone asks you for your shirt, give them your coat as well. Essentially within Christ's overall message throughout his ministry of changing your natural, human self-focus into a central focus on others through your faith, he orders us to give up all of our rights. Again, CHRIST TELLS US THAT WHEN WE ACCEPT HIS CHALLENGE TO LIVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES, WE GIVE UP ANY PERSONAL RIGHTS THAT WE MAY HAVE. Doesn't that seem a little contrary to the idea of Christians fighting for their rights?

This isn't to say that Christians shouldn't flex their muscles politically, but I believe that Jesus would prefer for us to push for the rights of others rather than ourselves. I'm sure that most Evangelicals are familiar with their favorite presidential candidate's stance on abortion and school prayer, but what about their plan to help the homeless? How are they going to deal with poverty across the globe?

Beyond that, if the church (globally, not necessarily the one that you go to) would accept their role of assisting these people in order to demonstrate Christ's love we wouldn't have to depend on the government to do these things. Much of the American church's desire to gain political power stems from the fact that many churches are focusing inward (how to make your life better) rather than outward (how to improve the lives of others).

And in our own lives, let's stop complaining about what we're owed, or our rights, or any of that. There are people at arms' length of all of us that could use our help, so let's give it to them.

culture on the counter

2007-04-12T19:16:00.002-04:00

I'm having trouble figuring out how to start this blog. I usually try to write something catchy to hook you into reading the rest but I can't think of anything for this one, so I'm just gonna dive right in.

I'm kind of sick of the way that Christianity is portrayed in our society. Since the days of Constantine the entire movement surrounding the life of Jesus Christ has been moved from a wild, countercultural paradigm shift of how believers lived their lives into a mainstream, watered-down political party – a way of justifying one's actions and stances on certain issues rather than a lifestyle that completely changes the motivations of someone to live contrarily to their natural instincts. I heard all the time that Jesus would eat and drink with prostitutes and social outcasts, but the same people that taught me this couldn't understand why I would have earrings or tattoos or hair that was dyed a different color. More so, they couldn't understand why I'd want to hang out with other people who did. If Jesus hung out with all of these marginal people, why are the only people at church cheerleaders, football players, and business people?

I believe that if Jesus were to come to earth today for the first time, the vast majority of people who subscribe to western Christianity now would be shocked, frightened, and hostile towards him. Conversely, the people who don't want anything to do with Jesus now because of the people that he's associated with would be drawn to him. Enigmatic, outspoken, countercultural, misunderstood. He'd be more like Kurt Cobain that Joel Osteen. In fact, he'd probably be speaking out against people like Osteen who've turned Christianity into a self-help seminar or a get-rich-quick scheme.

Around 3 years ago I was reading Matthew 10, a passage that I'd never heard (that I can remember) spoken on in church in its entirety. Jesus is admonishing his closest followers to go out for a bit on their own to spread his vision and message. I've always envisioned this scene going down in a closed up shop at night, like a secret meeting in a movie that would have tons of automatic weapons and car chases. No candles lit; didn't want anyone to know they were there. Probably one of the 12 posted by the door, another peeking through the window from over on the side to make sure no one was coming. Here were his instructions:

"As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep

Doesn't sound like much of an invitation to a life of luxury to me.

"Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.

The shake the dust of your feet part was the first thing that really struck me. What an insult! In those days you walked everywhere, so your feet would get covered in mud and dirt. For Jesus to tell his disciples to, if not accepted in a home, perform an act that would be the cultural equivalent to taking a dump on their porch didn't match up with the image of Jesus that I'd been accustomed to. This guy wasn't some sissified crybaby complaining about the religious leaders and telling everyone they're forgiven. He was sending these guys out on a recon mission.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

My favorite two sentences in all the Bible. Essentially telling these guys that they were going on a suicide mission. Don't do anything morally wrong, but don't be stupid enough to get yourself caught. How awesome does that sound?! Those two analogies by Jesus gave me a completely new outlook on the guy. All of the sudden following Jesus became dangerous and cool. Being in his crew was like being in some covert operation, trying to find supporters while being chased down by a hostile government and a hostile religious culture.

"Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

I love the fact that Jesus said "when they arrest you" instead of "if they arrest you".

"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. I tell you the truth, you will not finish going through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

"A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for the student to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!

"So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

This is the only part that I'd ever heard in church, and only the last 2 lines. When taken out of context it always sounded like a comforting placation, a reminder that God will take care of us. But when looked at in the context of the conversation it seems like it was more of a reminder that armor would be provided, because the bullets were surely coming.

"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her motherinlaw— a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

"He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me. Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and anyone who receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man's reward. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."

Serious words. This demand from Jesus doesn't leave much room for fence-riding. No promise of a comfortable life, money or safety; nothing but difficulty and danger.

Jesus took the entire religious culture of the day based on a laundry list of thou shall's and thou shalt not's and turned it on its ear, saying that the actions (or inactions) weren't the point but rather the motivations behind it. He was kind to those in need and friendly to those in need of it, but was constantly reprimanding religious authorities. The more I read of the Gospels, the more he seemed to be the kind of guy I'd love to hang out with: controversial, dangerous, always outmanned and always outgunned. He's the kind of guy that people like me would hang out with and he's the kind of guy that would hang out with people like me, shunning the football players and cheerleaders and businessmen.

My goal is to write a series of blogs that highlight what I believe are the attributes of Jesus' personality and character that have been neglected and brushed under the rug in favor of a politically correct, non-threatening Jesus. I hope that everyone that reads these participates in conversation through comments about them and that we can start to develop an idea of what the guy was really like and what his offer is really about. Thanks for listening.

heaven

2007-01-25T07:49:00.000-05:00

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God." Revelation 21:3

Forget the mansions, feasts, whatever else you've been told is a good reason to go to heaven. Forget about pain and suffering and fire and sulphur. Communion is the key.

Loneliness sucks. In all the movies and pictures and paintings hell is a lake of fire with some mountains in the background or maybe it looks like a big cave, but in every picture you see thousands of people all crammed together screaming. My job sucks, but Kyle is there so it can suck for us together, which makes it not so bad. I think that in hell the worst thing is that you won't be crammed together with thousands of people, so that you can say "Hey, my skin burning off for eternity sucks" and then they can say "yeah it does", then you can have a conversation about the burnt rocks you had for lunch. I think that the reality of hell is that it will be for ever

and ever

and ever

alone. And that sucks.

in my defense...

2007-01-05T03:49:00.000-05:00

i listen to talk radio all the time. all music radio stations in atlanta suck, and i find that either learning something or defining how i feel about something at least makes my drive worth it both to and from work. one show that i've discovered lately is The Bible Answer-man on 970 AM at 6:00. The guy's amazing. I think he has the whole Bible memorized and people call and ask him theological questions and he gives them answers from memory. Most of the time I really like his answers and enjoy the show, but on occasion his show turns into a commercial for a product that his company, the Christian Reseach Institute, is selling. He'll have a guest on that wrote a book or created a computer program or whatever the product is to talk about the merits of that product and explain how necessary it is.

On Wednesday he had a man named Greg Koukl on the show to talk about his new product Tactics in Defending the Faith. It's a CD and DVD set to help Christians argue the merits of Christianity with people who don't agree (this practice is called apologetics). Most of what I heard were basic Debate Club tactics, but what really bothered me were his examples of how to have these conversations. The two example conversations that I heard were arguments for the merits of capital punishment and the immorality of homosexuality (I really don't want the comments on this blog to turn into a debate on either of these topics, so if any comments are made concerning either point of view on either of these subjects they'll be deleted).

Although both of these are relevant topics when discussing morality or ethics, neither are central to the Christian faith. It concerns me that Christianity, when looked at from the outside, is merely a blanket term used to define one who is against abortion and gay marriage and who is for the war in Iraq and the death penalty in capital crimes (again, more topics that aren't up for discussion in this blog; if you want to start an argument on any of this, post your own blog about them).

I'm curious as to where the idea of "defending our faith" came from. In the United States we talk all the time about "defending the faith" or "defending our Christian rights" which both seem to me to be in direct opposition to Jesus' teachings. Specifically, Jesus tells us that in becoming a Christian we give up any rights which we may have, and make ourselves a servant rather than a master. The only instance that I can think of in the New Testament of defense of the faith would be Peter defending Jesus in the garden when he cut off the soldier's ear. He was reprimanded pretty harshly for it and Jesus put the guy's ear back on. If Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, felt that defending the faith was necessary, wouldn't he, in some of his letters written from prison, have urged other believers to come and bust him out?

I have several friends who are turned off of the idea of Christianity because it doesn't jive with their political or ecological or humanitarian convictions. It seems that during my parents' generation the ideals of the conservative right somehow came to be associated with Christianity. The idea of a Christian and a Republican became interchangeable, and the stances on certain issues politically were married to the faith and argued as God's viewpoint and argued on God's behalf.

I don't place my faith in the war in Iraq; I don't find hope in the justice of capital punishment. So how is the defense of my stance on these issues viewed as the defense of my faith? I do so because it's easy to focus on the marginal things rather than the central theme, and if you want to do that in your personal life, fine. But I can't use those fringe issues as the basis for your discussion with other people, because it gives the appearance that those things are the basis of my faith.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we really want to talk about our faith, let's not blur that with our political or moral views. I want to focus on what my faith is actually in: A higher calling for my life. The promise of an abundant life now and a perfect heaven later. Forgiveness for my faults. Jesus Christ as Savior.

doubt

2006-10-10T18:28:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that doubting is wrong. Doubting is a normal part of faith, and faith can't exist without some amount of doubt ("if you were 100 sure, it wouldn't be faith, it'd be fact"-Kris Mobbs). Paul tells us to work out our faith "with fear and trembling, " and the hard part of being a believer is something that gets glossed over alot of the time.

Jesus describes his relationship to the church as a groom and a bride and, after being married for four years, I think I'm starting to understand the marriage metaphor more because I didn't always "feel" like I wanted to be married, and in times when my ex-wife and I were struggling, I questioned or doubted my marriage. And it's when we came through these times that our relationship was the strongest because it had been tested and we chose to go forward instead of quit. Although I did decide to finally throw in the towel and take the opportunity for a life with some enjoyment over living the rest of my life in misery, rest assured that I didn't run off at the first sign of trouble.

John tells the story in his version of Jesus' life of what happened after Jesus fed thousands of people with five pieces of bread and a couple of fish. The people followed Jesus to the next city, and He told them that they didn't follow Him because of the miracles that he performed, but because he gave them some food (6:26). He told the people that if they really wanted to follow Him they had to eat His flesh and drink His blood (6:35-40).

John then tells us that when the people heard it, they said to each other that it was a hard teaching and left, deciding that when being a believer wasn't easy that they weren't into it anymore (6:60-66). Jesus turned to his 12 best friends and asked them if they were going to leave too, since they had been talking about what a hard teaching it was as well. Peter answered Jesus by saying "Who else would we go to? We believe that You're God and that You have eternal life (6:67-68)."

Even though the disciples were confused by what Jesus was saying and didn't understand what He meant by it (by eating His flesh and drinking His blood, Jesus meant that to really be His followers we have to be willing to completely take part in His forgiveness and His sacrifice for us), they still chose to follow Jesus with their lives. I'm sure that there were other times when Jesus said things that the disciples didn't understand or found it hard to believe, but they chose to work through those things and keep following Jesus.

I think it's great if you have some doubts about things (and I'm sure others will disagree with me on this) because it means that you're working through your salvation rather than just believing what you're told or taught. Doubt to me means that you're working through your faith as you would any relationship, because working through conflict brings about a better relationship that one without any conflict at all.

it's the end of the world as we know it

2005-08-01T12:29:00.000-04:00

Okay, so somebody forwarded me an article from christianitytoday.com and it kind of ticked me off, so I wrote a response to the article that i've posted below. To read the original article, click here:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/commentaries/crossoverartists.html

First I would like to say that I understand the point that Mr. Pruitt is making, but a distinction should be made within “Christian” and “secular” artists to more understand the purpose of the artist and the art.

The only mistake that I believe Mr. Pruitt made in his argument is to not take it far enough. Instead of only breaking down musicians into two groups, Christian and secular, both of those groups need to be broken down further into artists that are making music in the hopes of it changing someone’s lives and artists that are making music in the hopes of changing their tax bracket.

I cannot disagree that there are many musicians on Christian record labels that “cross over” onto the secular charts in an effort to gain fame or fortune. There are, however, just as many artists who make music that is more implicit than explicit in its Christian themes in order to make these themes relevant and accessible to non-believers. Paul wrote to the Corinthians that “…Christ on the Cross seems like sheer silliness to those hell-bent on destruction, but for those on the way of salvation it makes perfect sense.” If a musician’s focus is to bring the message of Christ to non-believers, it is counter-productive to make music that speaks only in Christian verbiage.

But just as there are Christian artists who cross over into the secular market, there are secular artists who release their music as “Christian” for the one thing that the world does not provide: a captive audience. Many Christians have made a decision to engulf themselves in Christian media: books, magazines, music, and television. While all of these are good in themselves, they have also become a lucrative industry. If the Christian music industry was not a money-making one, would Warner Music Group spend marketing dollars on Word Records? Word is one of the largest CCM labels, yet the money that Christians spend on CDs by Word-produced musicians is put in the same bank account as the money earned on Puff Daddy albums. Big Idea Productions is also a part of Warner Brothers Home Entertainment, yet Christians who speak on the evil of the Harry Potter movies will gladly pay for a Veggietales video distributed by the same company.

If any of us were to go to church on Sunday to find an usher at the door collecting a $5 cover charge, what would our reaction be? Martin Luther’s 95 Theses deal significantly with the Indulgences, fees that were paid for confession or to “buy” relatives out of purgatory and into heaven. He preached that the message of Christ is free. If the message is truly free, then why is a CCM CD $17.98 at your local Christian bookstore (more expensive than the same CD at Target)? Why is the Christian bookstore’s price sticker on the book in my hand conveniently placed over the publisher’s barcode and MSRP (which is usually less than what I am paying)?

To judge the true motivations behind any artist, be it secular or Christian, you must first look in their wallet. Is this person truly dedicated to making their music heard by the masses? Or are they simply trying to find a way to make a (often very) comfortable living that doesn’t involve sitting behind a desk or working a cash register.

CCM artists that cross over into the pop music charts really don’t bother me. I feel pretty neutral about it, because in the grand scheme of things they’re all making music to pay big corporations anyway. However, an artist such as Sufjan Stevens’s crossing over into the college music scene with a message that begs to be heard is exactly the kind of ‘cross-over” artist we need. People that listen to independent artists will do so because they know that the music has a message and they are interested in finding out what any given artist’s message is.

I frequently purchase albums by artists such as Ani DiFranco, Damien Rice, Talib Kweli, Common - not because I necessarily agree with the message, but because I appreciate their honesty and vulnerability. If “Christian” musicians adopted the same mentality about making honest, transparent music about their faith (and occasional lack thereof), then the independent music community would embrace them as they have Stevens and Pedro the Lion, a Christian band that was listed on Spin Magazine’s “50 Best Bands You’ve Never Heard Of”. The “secular” community supports and accepts these musicians and their faith-based music not because they agree, but because they want to be around someone who honestly believes what they say, and they aren’t afraid to say it around people who don’t always agree.

Mr. Pruitt made the statement that one of the only scriptural references he sees mentioned in regard to crossover music is the instance of Jesus eating with the sinners, but what could be more important than the next verse, when Jesus tells us that he has come to save the sinners, not the righteous? If given the choice, I would less like to see the latest Third Day CD break into the Billboard Top 100 than to see Sufjan Stevens singing his song Seven Swans in a crowded bar or college lecture hall, ending with the lines “He will take you. If you run, He will chase you. He is Lord.”

progress

2005-03-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

Progress: n. 1. Movement, as toward a goal; advance.

My boss called me into his office one time to ask me what my problem was. “You do good work,” he said, “but you’re always trying to figure out some other way to do it rather than our normal procedures.” One time a youth pastor came to me and said that I had a “spirit of conflict”. He said that I “was never satisfied with the way things are.” I gave them both the same answer: that I believe that the way we’re doing it right now is the best way to do it, but we should always be looking for a better way.

Progress for the sake of change is pointless, because much of the time you regress just to be different. Progress for the sake of progress, however, means constantly trying new things to find the next step, the next move, the path towards the goal. I’m not satisfied with normal. I’m not going to accept doing things the way I’ve always done them, just because that’s comfortable.

The Latin word that progress comes from means to walk forward, and anytime you walk forward where no one has been it means that you’re the most likely person to trip on a root or fall in a hole or take a confident step off the edge of the cliff. It’s nice to know that I have someone ahead of me to pick me up and set me back upright when I fall.

I love progress. I love to expand the barriers of what we see as the “correct” way of doing things, the tried-and-true methodology of how we live, how we interact, how we worship, how we connect to our Heavenly Father. C. S. Lewis wrote, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." I choose to be unsatisfied until the pilgrim’s progress reaches its destination.