doubt

I can't believe that doubting is wrong. Doubting is a normal part of faith, and faith can't exist without some amount of doubt ("if you were 100 sure, it wouldn't be faith, it'd be fact"-Kris Mobbs). Paul tells us to work out our faith "with fear and trembling, " and the hard part of being a believer is something that gets glossed over alot of the time.

Jesus describes his relationship to the church as a groom and a bride and, after being married for four years, I think I'm starting to understand the marriage metaphor more because I didn't always "feel" like I wanted to be married, and in times when my ex-wife and I were struggling, I questioned or doubted my marriage. And it's when we came through these times that our relationship was the strongest because it had been tested and we chose to go forward instead of quit. Although I did decide to finally throw in the towel and take the opportunity for a life with some enjoyment over living the rest of my life in misery, rest assured that I didn't run off at the first sign of trouble.

John tells the story in his version of Jesus' life of what happened after Jesus fed thousands of people with five pieces of bread and a couple of fish. The people followed Jesus to the next city, and He told them that they didn't follow Him because of the miracles that he performed, but because he gave them some food (6:26). He told the people that if they really wanted to follow Him they had to eat His flesh and drink His blood (6:35-40).

John then tells us that when the people heard it, they said to each other that it was a hard teaching and left, deciding that when being a believer wasn't easy that they weren't into it anymore (6:60-66). Jesus turned to his 12 best friends and asked them if they were going to leave too, since they had been talking about what a hard teaching it was as well. Peter answered Jesus by saying "Who else would we go to? We believe that You're God and that You have eternal life (6:67-68)."

Even though the disciples were confused by what Jesus was saying and didn't understand what He meant by it (by eating His flesh and drinking His blood, Jesus meant that to really be His followers we have to be willing to completely take part in His forgiveness and His sacrifice for us), they still chose to follow Jesus with their lives. I'm sure that there were other times when Jesus said things that the disciples didn't understand or found it hard to believe, but they chose to work through those things and keep following Jesus.

I think it's great if you have some doubts about things (and I'm sure others will disagree with me on this) because it means that you're working through your salvation rather than just believing what you're told or taught. Doubt to me means that you're working through your faith as you would any relationship, because working through conflict brings about a better relationship that one without any conflict at all.